Thursday, July 14, 2011

Just How Hard Can One Push Themselves!

So I have been feeling neglectful of the blog lately and then my friend Ken came up to me in the green room tonight and said he had been missing it. I honestly just haven't had the time. There are always interesting things that go on night in and night out but nothing that stands out as blog worthy.

One of the biggest reasons that I don't blog as often is because there literally is no time. I am up at 6:30 AM and eat my breakfast while I make my lunch and dinner for the day. Then I squeeze in a shower, make sure I am prepared for my classes and it's off to the theater (with many bags in hand and some lemon tea for the vocal cords). My first class starts @ 9:00 AM and I have 15, 6-8 year olds who I try to teach to sing, act and dance, but mostly I am just trying to keep them quiet and not hit each other. Class is out @ noon and I get a short lunch break where I work on class stuff, eat and some times try to get a nap but that rarely happens. Then it's off to production class @ 1:00 PM where I am a rehearsal assistant / acting coach for 36, 8 - 13 year olds. That class lets out @ 5:00 PM and then it is time to go to the teen production class rehearsal which goes until 6:30 PM. That brings me right up to my time to start getting ready for the show. Talk about changing gears! How did I ever think I could do this? Oh I know the answer, because I think I can handle anything. But I must say I am breaking a little bit. Not that I am too tired to do the show, but my body is exhausted. And with all the talking, stress and lack of sleep my voice is weakening. This really upsets me because I love doing this show every night. I don't care how tired I am, I fee so blessed to have this opportunity that I want to soak in every moment. But I find that hard to do when I am worrying about straining my voice and squeaking in mid song. I have been very careful the past few weeks in class and I have really been trying to support my speech and singing but it isn't working. And I can only do so much to remedy it. I'm sucking down lemon tea, sucking on raw ginger root, drinking tons of water, staying away from alcohol and getting vocal rest whenever possible. And I just think my body is telling me, this is too much. But I don't like that answer. So my question, how much is too much?

I like to think I can do it all and push myself very hard, I always have. And I do my very best. I guess that is all you can hope for. But I just wish things were a little easier right now so I can enjoy every minute of this show. Any words of encouragement would be appreciated.

Well it's time to go to sleep. Gotta get up at 6:30 AM.

Your Tough & Tired Tapper!

Before I go, on a positive note, the audience rocked tonight. Their energy was incredible. It felt good to feel like a rock star at bows again. I just love this show and I can't say it enough. I never want to settle I always want to push and get better (I'm such a pusher!) GOODNIGHT!

1 comment:

KiityKat said...

Something has to give. What's interesting here, Jessica, is that no one is applying the pressure harder than you are to yourself. There are few, like you, that possess remarkable discipline. Now let your journey of dedication result in satisfaction; do not move too quickly through the relishing, in fact, savor it. Sit still. You can be all things--just not all at once. Something has to give--so GIVE yourself permission to reap your rewards. Mummy loves you.