You Can't Lose Focus For One Second!

It's been an interesting couple of days. After a wonderful Preview performance and Opening Night, the exhaustion started to kick in. I was really feeling it on Saturday night. And even though I had gotten a full nights rest and relaxed most of the day, I was still dragging. I guess it all just caught up with me. But I knew I had to do the best show that I could do. I have also been really worried about my voice. It has been a little raw and I was worried about getting through Saturday nights show. Well I think I really let that get to me and rather than be completely in the moment and just see what happens, I was worrying about it. Now don't get me wrong I didn't have a bad show but my body kept making little mistakes. And in Lullaby my hat fell off and the chin strap was choking me. I didn't think it really mattered but as soon as I thought about a moment I could put it back on, I lost a second of choreo. Normally, I am very good about not missing a beat but with dancing, it's much harder. But overall I got through. I just kept reminding myself to push through each number and do the very best that I could, and that is what I did. When it was all said and done everyone said that I had great energy and that they didn't notice the mistakes. The moral of the story is, you have to keep going like nothing has happened and the audience will forget all about it. I have really learned to let those little things go. In the past I have always strived for absolute perfection and if I didn't get it than it wasn't any good and I let it ruin the rest of my show. But I realize now that it's not always going to be perfect and I will experience a brain fart now and then. Just keep going and forget about it. Don't occupy your mind with unnecessary junk.

So today I was ready to go. I had a great nights sleep, woke up and made protein pancakes for the family and went in to the theatre. I felt ready, even though my voice was still a little raw. Everything was going well, but I made a few silly mistakes in Go In To Your Dance. Again I don't think many people would notice them but I knew I had made them. Than in the ragamuffin section of We're In The Money, my hat fell off and I again thought about how to pick it up and lost a second of choreo. Blast these hats! But I did pick up the hat inconspicuously, so it wasn't hanging about for the rest of the number, which was good.

Overall, in my mind I had a rough couple of shows. To everyone else, they were good. Although I know everything can't always be perfect, I don't think that it's a bad thing to strive for. As long as I don't let the mistakes get me down. I never let myself waver in energy and always go out there and do the very best that I can and that is all that I can do.

I am loving this show and I am so happy that we have 4 more weeks to perform it. On my way home from the theater, I turned and looked at my husband and said,"Can you believe that I am in 42nd Street?" It's very surreal. I know I have said it before, but I will never forget this experience.

Well I have a full day off tomorrow. No work, no show! So I am going to get some much needed rest. I can't wait until Wednesday when we get to start all over again.

Your Happy to Have Some Time Off But Eager to Get Back to 42nd Street Tapper!

You Can Do Anything You Set Your Mind To!

Opening Night was amazing. The show was really tight and maybe a bit better than Preview which is odd. You know how shows usually have 2nd night blues? Well I didn't feel that last night. Everyone was really on. There is just something about this show that keeps you pushing and fighting. We can't ever lost that. That is what makes it fun and rewarding.

I was definitely more relaxed last night. Preview Night really made me feel like I could do this. I needed that first show out of the way to prove to myself that I could do it. Because, quite frankly, I wasn't sure. I thought my whole body would freeze up.

And I realized something last night. I spent the entire rehearsal process worrying about the dancing and the tap, that I never had a chance to relax in to my character. But I was able to do that last night because I finally believed in myself. It's amazing how much we can stand in our own way. And let me tell you, it is fun to play Anytime Annie. She's so brassy and sure of herself. I am so excited about the run and finding new things every night.

I look back on the start of this journey and I guess in the back of my head I always knew I could do it, but there was always that little voice saying, what if you can't? It feels so rewarding to have worked so hard and to reap the rewards. And I really feel like I proved to myself that you can do anything you set your mind to. And I like that my students see that example, because I would never want them to think they can't do something. That is why I teach, because when I was a kid, I didn't have a teacher there for me, believing in me, telling me that I could be anything I wanted to be and anything I wanted to do. I want to be that for them. Kids need that in their lives. And I am so lucky to be able to share that every day. I have such a passion for the theatre. It is my entire life. I don't know anything else. And that is what you will see on that stage. My deep passion for this art form. I am so blessed.

Thank you so much, again for supporting me on this journey. And although this feels and seems like a goodbye and an end to the blog, it is not. I fully intend on continuing, because the learning has not stopped. As actors, we are always in process and therefore, always learning.

Well I am off to enjoy my Saturday off until showtime tonight.

Your Mission Accomplished Tapper!

What A Night!

Words cannot describe the emotional roller coaster that was last night. It was an amazing evening but before the show started I had no idea how it was going to turn out. To say I was nervous is the understatement of the millennium. I couldn't tell you what emotion I was feeling because I was feeling all of them. I was scared, but excited and a little bit numb. As people started trickling in to the theatre it was becoming more real. I couldn't believe we were finally here. And then my great friend Gaby pulled me aside and gave me a gift, an evil eye to wear during the show to ward off evil. I bawled like a baby. She knows how hard this journey has been for me and when she told me she was proud of me I just lost it. And then Dawn came over and just looking at her made me start all over again. She was the one who believed in me and gave me this opportunity. Without her belief and pushing me, I never would have been able to have done this. I cried at vocal warm-up, I cried putting my make up on, I just couldn't stop crying. My journey kept coming in to focus and I remembered the days of spending 3 hours in the studio working my butt off and I got so emotional about it.


So before I knew it, Rhoda was calling places. Ahhhh! So nervous. Are all my costumes set? Do I have my shoes? Do I have my water? Do I have my throat spray? Do I remember the moves? Walking on stage behind the curtain, I lost feeling in my legs. I was so numb. I have never felt like that before. I didn't feel prepared or unprepared. I just felt tingly and numb. I kept reminding myself to have fun but my fear was winning. And then it was go time. As soon as the curtain rose on our feet the crowd went wild. That just filled my soul. It reminded me that I couldn't fail.

We finished the Opening Number and the audience went crazy. People even stood up. At that point my engine was revved. Although, I was still very nervous about Go In To Your Dance. I didn't know how my nerves would affect my tapping. But when it got to the number I just let myself go and it went very well. It might have been my best solo yet. And since the audience was filled with many people who know my story and follow my blog, I got some nice applause on that solo. It truly made me feel like I had accomplished what I set out to do.

I relaxed in to the rest of the show and had a phenomenal time. I knew when it came to the bows that it was going to be an amazing moment, and it was. It was more like a rock concert than a musical. People were going crazy. And then we started singing Lullaby of Broadway after the bows and I just couldn't contain my emotion, I cried like a baby. It was a great moment.

After the show we came down to the lobby for our Preview Night Reception and it was great to see everyone and hear the support. I got a lot of compliments on my dancing, some people didn't even believe me when I said that I had never tapped before. What a compliment!

The night was absolutely magical. And like Dawn said,"there is something about this show." I am so excited for Opening Night tonight. My voice is a little raw but at least I get some r & r tomorrow before the show.

And just in case anyone wanted to know, I will be continuing my blog through the run so don't forget to stop by and say hi.

Thank you all for your support!

Your Very Proud and Humbled Tapper.

No more working days, it's Opening Night! But I will still keep working and fighting.

It's The Day of the Show Y'all!

I can't believe the moment is here. It is the night before the show y'all! So many emotions are running through me right now. I am scared, exhausted, excited, nervous. Name an emotion and I am probably experiencing it right now.

We had our final dress rehearsal tonight and it went well. I was really feeling nervous in the opening number but I got through it ok. Then we were going in to Shadow Waltz and I got nervous again. Half way through the number I reminded myself that I know the steps, now it is just time to have some fun. It worked even though I made a slight mistake in the choreography while thinking of my singing note. You can't lose focus for one second in this show. I was really happy with Go In To Your Dance. Although I don't know why the slow tapping that I do to teach Peggy a move, freaks me out so much. I guess it is because it is just me up there, no music, no singing, just silence and my taps. But I was practicing when I had a second offstage and I know I just have to bend and go for it. Overall, I was really pleased.

So here it is, the moment that I and so many others have worked so hard for. I am so emotional just thinking about it. I know that I am a hard worker, but I don't know if I have ever worked as hard as this. We've come a long way from auditions and now it is time to go out there, have some fun and tell our story. I can't wait to share it with all of our friends and family.


Alright, it's time for bed. It feels a little bit like Christmas Eve!

See ya on the other side,

Your Anytime Annie

1 More Working Day Until Opening Night!
But who am I kidding, tomorrow night is showtime!

For The First Time In My Life, I Feel Like A Dancer

Tonight was a good night! I had a lot of fun and I put everything I had in to the show. I was trying to treat it like we had an audience. Before the curtain rose, I actually got some performance butterflies.

So I was able to practice today and take a nap. You can really do anything once you put your mind to it. I took a 45 minute power nap during my class when the choreographer was teaching a number and I practiced some numbers right after I got in to hair and make up. I realize that I have to run all of the tap numbers before every show to remind my muscles what to do. While practicing I kept reminding myself to think into the ground and really dance hard. That is always the best reminder because then you get all your sounds. What I tend to do is rush from step to step and then I look so frenzied all the time.

I like to stand on stage left and watch the ballet. The ballet is the actual 42nd Street number and it is an 8 minute tap ballet. It's got some really cool characters and the choreography is unbelievable. As I watched on the side I noticed the people I kept staring at were the ones putting their all in to every move and they had something going on in their faces. I found myself getting lost in it. I hope I look like that.

So here it is. Almost time to open. I have one more night in rehearsal mode and then it's nerves time. I have no idea how my body will react, but I hope I can calm it down enough to enjoy every step. I know I really need to relax before Go In To Your Dance but it's so hard. As soon as I realize that I have to tap by myself I clam up. Not that I don't know it's going to happen, but with all the changes and the way this show moves you are always in the moment and then all of a sudden it hits me right before and my hips tighten. But on a positive note, because I always like to add that, I really feel like I am a dancer. As you have heard me say before I have always wanted to be a dancer. I would look at girls in their dancer clothes and their buns on their heads and just watch them move and be so jealous. But I finally feel like a dancer. I have never danced this much in a show and I am so grateful to those who gave me this opportunity (you know who you are). This experience is one that I will never forget.

Well since it is before midnight, I am going to take advantage and get in to bed for some serious needed sleep. Look for my super nervously excited post tomorrow. I can't believe it's here. Goodnight!

Your Super Excited, Nervous and Overtired Tapper!

2 Working Days Until Opening Night!
1 More Rehearsal Until Preview Night!

Go Big or Go Home!

It's 11:45 PM and I am finally in bed. Tonight was our 2nd dress rehearsal and it went ok for me. I really felt like I lost a little fire. Ever since we started costumes I haven't been able to get back to that comfort level that I was beginning to feel. And tonight I was just making tons of silly mistakes. It's getting too close to Opening Night for silly mistakes. I know that I am tired but that is not going to change. My schedule is crazy and I just have to deal with it.

So what can I do to bring the fire back? Well I can keep reminding myself how lucky I am to be performing. Tell myself to go out there and just have fun. But I think tomorrow night I am just going to keep chanting, go big or go home. I know I need a little more push and I have to bring it now. Only 2 more rehearsals to go.

I really feel like I have to practice my tapping before we run tomorrow, but I don't know when. I must find time because I don't feel comfortable with some things right now. I find myself noticing how scared I am during the run. Annie is confident and knows that she can do anything. I just have to walk around with that attitude and believe it, otherwise I am not telling the story and that is my job.

I am really excited about Preview Night. I can't wait for my family to see everything put together. And all of our family and friends will be there supporting us. I know we can't fail in their eyes. But I really want to show them what we can do. We've worked so hard and it's gotta be great. I am going to do everything in my power to get there. Although I know I am going to be so nervous that I can't even see straight.

Well, the computer screen is getting blurry. Time for bed. Goodnight my loyal readers.

Your kicking it in to high gear tapper.

Only 3 Working Days Until Opening Night (WHAT?)

The Home Stretch!

It is the eve of the final stretch of rehearsals. Tomorrow night is our first full dress/tech rehearsal. This is the last step before opening. And I have to admit I am getting very excited.

I will start out by saying, I have been riddled with problems this week. I'm constantly tired because I am working all day and expending a lot of energy, working with kids. I have also been battling vocal troubles that are brought on by overuse and exhaustion. But I don't like to let anything get me down. However, after a long week, I was feeling very exhausted. When we started tonight I was feeling very weak and almost like I was going to pass out. But as soon as that beautiful band started playing and the cast looked around at each other with,"Let's do this thing," written all over their faces, I was feeling a little more ready. And then we started dancing the opening number and I felt incredible. There is just something about that number that thrusts you right in to the show.

I am at this point where I have mostly forgotten about the tap steps themselves and am trying to let myself go and just have fun. And let me tell you, I am having a lot of fun. I am finding little acting moments here and there that are fun and remind me of my strength in this role. I am always looking for new things on stage. I will never stop looking until the day we close. That's the best thing about live theatre, it's never the same. That is what is so exciting about it. And it's why I volunteer my time with others who love it as much as I do. Boy, I am a lucky girl. And I always try to remember that on days like today when I am tired and feel like I can't go anymore.

So, this is it. The home stretch. I am still a little nervous but I think the excited factor is kicking in to high gear. The cast and crew have been very supportive and complimentary and that is always motivating. And I have to dedicate this blog post to them. I love going in every night and seeing their smiling faces. And even though they are as tired as I am, they still want to go out there and give it all they got. That's another reason why I am so lucky, I get to spend my time with such wonderful people. I love you all and I can't wait, "to show 'em what we can do!"

Goodnight!

Your little tapper that could!

6 Working Days Until Opening Night!