I don't even know what to write about any more. Which is pretty much how I feel about the show. I feel like I have been working so hard and I have plateaued in every way. I need a jolt, something to energize me through the next couple of weeks.
I did work yesterday in the studio for an hour and a half and it was good work. Other than thinking in to the ground which is a constant issue with me, I discovered a few other things. I noticed I constantly lift my hips and that prevents me from striking the ground. This tightness not only comes from concentration and tension but also, I am not always breathing. That can't be good. I also realized that on my left foot I am pointing when I shuffle out which makes it hard to get it back in quickly. This is going to be a hard habit to break. But I did start to feel the certain bounciness that tap requires. It is all about weight distribution which I have said before, but it cannot be taught it has to be discovered.
I have to admit it was not easy going back to rehearsal tonight after 4 days off. I felt like I should have spent all that time working on the show but I was just unable to. One, because I went away for 2 days, two, because I have other work to do for my job and three, I don't even know what to work on anymore. I am singing and dancing non stop, drilling everything in to my head. And at this point nothing seems to be getting any better. Although I did enjoy learning the opening choreography to Shuffle Off To Buffalo. It was in my comfort zone. It made me feel competent.
And then on my way home tonight it hit me. I have forgotten the fun. Why do we do this? Certainly not to make money and certainly not to further our careers. We do it for the fun. Every time I get a role in a show I complicate it and make it so hard on myself to get everything absolutely perfect, when what I need to be doing is letting loose, trying new things and having fun. Most times I just let the uptight part of my personality get the best of me.
So from now on, forget perfect. I am going for fun. I am hoping that will infuse energy in to this listless hoofer.
Tomorrow is our Design Run where we will run almost the whole show (what we have up to this point). It's an exciting night because there are new eyes and new reactions. I hope all my hard work shows through. And if not, I am going to have fun anyway.
Goodnight!
Your,
Fun loving, not perfect tappa, tappa, tapper!
23 Working Days Until Opening Night! (Yowzaa)
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