Eureka!

I have been a little side-tracked by a chest cold and have not been able to get in to the studio to rehearse in 2 days. However, I have been going in to rehearsal an hour early and going over the opening number over and over again with my castmates. And yesterday I had such an epiphany. I realized that when I shuffle I am trying to point my toe and I should be flexing. This opened up my ankle and I was able to think loose and they were loose. It was an amazing feeling. I was a shuffling machine. Except for those darn rolling shuffles, they are way too fast.

Tonight we did the choreography to Shadow Waltz and I am in love with it. It's very flirty and cute but also graceful. It was fun to do a number that I felt I could do and do well.

Now tomorrow night is the big night. We are choreographing Go In To Your Dance and that is my big number. It's the one with those dreaded pullbacks. I am very nervous but I am going to do the best that I can because that is all I can do. I hope I come out of it feeling like it's possible.

Well, I don't really have much more than that. I must go to bed and rest this weary body. I'll let you know how tomorrow night goes.

Goodnight!

50 Days Until Opening Night!

Cramp Rolls, Consider Yourself Conquered!

I was in the studio for and hour and a half today. I have to say, I find it hard to figure out what to work on. There are so many steps right now that need attention, I find myself falling in to ADHD mode! I move from step to step, not really perfecting one, but just getting fed up and moving on.

But today it was different. I was working on the opening number and was trying to clean up my problem spots when I realized that I have a very difficult time with cramp rolls. So I decided to stop and really try to figure the mechanics out. My feet don't want to make to the fluid sound. I kept thinking jump up and come down but it wasn't working. But then I really concentrated on relaxing my ankles and I started jumping off of one foot sooner than the other and low and behold, I did it, and kept doing it. I hope this is the correct way because it felt good to move from left to right cramp rolls with ease. I think this is a big step towards looser ankles.

So on to the sticking points of the afternoon. I kept trying rolling shuffles but I know that I am moving my leg too much. I know it's only a slight movement but I am not sure what else is working to make the sound. I am also having a hard time constantly hopping. I mean I work out my quads a lot but I just get too tired when we are constantly hopping. Also, anytime I lean to a side my leg comes up off the ground and won't tap. I have this problem a lot.

Another big issue I have is trying to keep my feet under me and being able to actually make the proper sound. I am tapping more in front which I realize is incorrect, but it is almost impossible for me to make the proper sounds with my feet under me. Also, whenever I am tapping to the side I feel like my legs are going too far and that is making it very hard to speed up the step. I think of trying to keep the steps contained but then I can't make the sounds.

But I did master cramp rolls today which makes me feel very successful. If I can have one realization a day, then I am that much closer to my goal.

I am very anxious about learning Go In To Your Dance this week but I am also looking forward to having a long time to work on it.

Today has been a complete success. And to celebrate I am having Mimosas! Woohoo!

Happy Mother's Day.

53 Days Until Opening Night!

My Feet Hate My Guts!

All I can say is OUCH! My everything hurts. And I couldn't be happier. I am very proud of my war wounds, it makes me feel like a real dancer.

Had a great rehearsal last night. We finished the opening number! So I went in to the studio today for a little while before I was scheduled to to volunteer for Derby Fest on 5th Avenue. I went over the number and broke it down and tried to fix my problem spots, but I realize it is just going to take time. This isn't something that is a quick fix. It takes many hours perfecting. Speaking of which, I read a quote about Eleanor Powell that is my new inspiration. It was from when she was in Duchess of Idaho, starring Esther Williams and she said that she was so touched watching Powell rehearsing until her feet bled in order to make her brief cameo as perfect as possible. Now, don't get me wrong I am not a masochist. But I realize that just because she made it look easy, doesn't mean it was easy. Practice, practice, practice.

Still trying to figure out how to keep my ankles loose and have some control over my sounds. I mean rolling shuffles are the bane of my existence right now. There is no consistency in them and that's because I can never tell when my ankles are going to tighten up. I don't know how to control that. I also still have the most annoying problem of not even hitting the floor at times. I am trying so hard to bend my knees while keeping my rib cage up. But I think there is a feeling to the body that I have to feel and be able to automatically go in to and that is going to take time. Nothing in life is easy.

The great thing about last night was that in the middle of dancing, I realized I am in a show. I have been working so hard that I kind of forgot that fact. It's weird how things just hit you. And I am so grateful and so lucky to have a place to perform and have amazing opportunities like this to grow and meet wonderful people. A big thank you to all of the continued support and advice. I am loving life.

And on that note, I must bid you adieu because I have a 5k to run in the morning.

Goodnight!

54 Days until Opening Night!

Ankles, Listen To Me...Loosen Up!

Tonight was the first tap rehearsal for the show and we did the Opening Number. I was so thrilled I knew the choreography from taking the audition workshop. I tried to have fun and act my face off and it seemed to work. But I know that my feet are not making 75% of the sounds and I desperately want to fix that. Some people say to me that it doesn't matter as long as some people make the sounds, but I don't operate like that. I want to learn how to tap. I intend to continue learning when the show closes. I want to be as precise as possible. But I decided to just have fun and smile my face off and I feel great about it. I will say there is one thing that I have been preparing for and that endurance. I am happy that I have been running for the past year, it definitely is beneficial for this show.

I really need to work on rolling shuffles. My ankles are tight and I know that but I cannot get them to loosen. I think loosen them, I shake them, I even yelled at them tonight and nothing works. Where is this tension coming from? My pelvis? My legs? My entire body? If I can figure it out it would definitely up my percentage of precise sounds.

All in all I had a blast tonight. My plan is to work on the choreography in the studio tomorrow and keep working on my pullbacks because we are working on Go Into Your Dance next week.

That's all folks from this very tired tapper. Thanks for tuning in.

56 Days Until Opening Night!

And So It Begins...

Tonight was the first rehearsal for 42nd Street. The first night is always so exciting. You get to meet new people and reconnect with friends. As I sat down next to a wonderful friend and looked around the room, I had a bit of a sigh as I thought to myself, "here we go." And after we all introduced ourselves and cracked little jokes here and there we were ready to get to work and sing.

Now, some of you may not know this, but I have never been very confident in my singing voice. Many things contributed to this feeling, but mostly it was people telling me that I couldn't and me believing them. But I was always singing. I went to several vocal coaches who each criticized the technique of the other. No one really caring about my intense desire to sing and to sing well. So I sang in the car, in the shower (best acoustics ever), karaoke bars and basically anywhere there was a song I knew. And all the while I would be adjusting my instrument trying to make it work properly, trying to have a smooth transition from chest to head voice. I would listen to singers I admired, Linda Eder being my favorite, and believe it or not I could hear what was going on in their throat, chest and even diaphragm. I so desperately wanted to be a better singer. And without realizing it I was doing some hard core vocal training any chance that I had. I had worked without it feeling like work. Why? Because this is my passion. So when it came time for me to audition for 42nd Street I felt confident. And then in the callbacks I was hitting notes I never thought possible and doing it consistently. That old fear was gone. So when we started with music last night, I was ready. I had listened to the cd and went over my music and I was excited to sing. And to my surprise I was actually asked to sing soprano at certain places in a song. That has never happened to me. I was always relegated to the alto section (a place I have come to love) because of my low voice and harsh break. But last night I was belting out high notes with confidence and it felt so good. I have worked so hard for so long and it has finally paid off. I was even holding my harmonies on my own. It was a proud moment.

How does this relate to tap you ask? Well, I realize I am going to have to go through the same cycle with this as I did with singing. There will be times of frustration and trial but they will be balanced out by times of triumph and success. As long as I work hard and keep my passion I can do anything. And it doesn't hurt to have a very supportive director who believes in you and a stellar cast and crew of new and old friends who share my passion and excitement.

When I got home last night, I sat down on my bed and noticed that I hadn't stopped smiling since I left the theater. I looked at my husband and said,"you know what, I love this." And he sweetly looked back at me and said with a smile,"I know."

Who has 2 thumbs and is the luckiest girl in the world? This girl!

Until we meet again, which I trust will be very soon...57 days until Opening!

When Does It Get Easier?

Being alone in the studio, I returned to my old habit of getting frustrated with myself. I feel like I keep making the same mistakes. And the biggest problem is that I feel like an elephant in tap shoes. I just feel so heavy and feel like I look like I am working so hard. There is nothing effortless about it right now. How can I feel light? I am lifting my ribs but I still feel like a tapping Mack truck, now there's a visual.

I was very excited about working today because of the new shoes and they are lovely. I don't mind the taller heel because it reminds me to stay up on my toes. I warmed up and then started with pullbacks as usual. And they are getting very consistent across the floor. But now I am having trouble doing them without prepping first. I have to do them coming out of a shuffle-hop-step-step-step while turning and I can't do it instantaneously. In addition my legs feel tight. Almost like I am extending too much. I know I am supposed to bend but sometimes it looks like it's too much. And when I watch video of really polished tappers they aren't really bending that much. I just cannot get the pullbacks to feel comfortable. I am tightening the muscles in my legs so much.

Also, my shuffles are still inconsistent. They come when they want to. I am going slow but I just don't feel like I am getting clean sounds.

I am very scared about starting rehearsals because I don' want to be the only one not getting it and I don't want to get frustrated with myself. I know I will have time to work on it but I fear I won't get it perfect.

And after sounding like a Pessimistic Pam I will leave you with a positive thought. I realized during practice today that I want so bad to do this and do it well. And I am so happy to have something in my life that I want to work for. I can only do what I can do and I will do it. I know there will be days like today, many of them. But they will inevitably lead to a wonderful feeling of accomplishment. The journey is not always going to be easy. But the destination is so worth it.

I am so excited about starting rehearsals tomorrow night.

58 Days Until Opening!

New Tap Shoes!

So after having 2 days off for a Disney getaway I was eager to get back in to the studio. But of course life is always crazy and I had many things to do today. I worked early in the morning, had to take a nap, went to return the 1st pair of tap shoes up in Fort Myers and then I wanted to go to a fitness boot camp with my sister at 5:00 pm. As the day went on I could see that I wasn't going to be able to jam everything in. So when I got to the theater I made a decision. I chose to tap over working out. Those of you who know me will now realize how deep my commitment runs.

I did not have any tap shoes because the new ones I ordered online had not arrived yet. So I borrowed some from the costume shop and headed in to the 3rd floor rehearsal room. I warmed up and started right off with pullbacks and I was surprised I could still get them. And then I went on with the things I went over with Crystal and Megan. But I soon found myself very frustrated working alone. I had some of the same old problems with my shuffles not always happening. And I was struggling to stay lifted but also hit the floor. I want to make all the precise, light sounds but it's just not all clicking yet. And I guess I am feeling some pressure because rehearsal starts on Wednesday. But I kept on trying to be patient with myself and I did alright. I worked on double pullbacks and decided that I didn't care if I got them or not, I was just going to keep trying. I didn't get them, but I am closer.

So after feeling a little disappointed in my progress, I went home with my wonderful husband and on the table by the door was a package. It was my beautiful new tap shoes! I quickly put them on and instantly fell in love. I went right outside to my make-shift tap floor and started making noise immediately. "Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in." (What movie is that from, anyone?). I was so happy to have my very own beautiful, not touched by anyone else, tap shoes. It gave me a new found excitement for this process and I am practically giddy about going in to the studio tomorrow to try them out. I mean these are the shoes I will be performing in. There is something very cool about that thought.

I shall leave you with the most glorious picture (can you tell I'm excited?)...oh and 59 days until Opening!