Sometimes you just don't want to stay and work, but you do, and then...magic!
Tonight we finished spacing the show on stage. I was done at 9:15 because the cast was going to spend the rest of the time working on the ballet. I really wanted to go home. After being at the theater since 8:45 AM teaching children and expending all of my energy, I just wanted to go home and rest, but I didn't. I listened to my gut (that is nauseous because of how close opening night is) and I went upstairs to the 2nd floor dance studio and worked. And since we got our dance CD's to practice with tonight it made things very much easier. So I got to work on all the tap numbers in the show. I had some issues with the Opening Audition number, but nothing too major. And then I got to Go Into Your Dance and I just couldn't make certain sounds, I just wasn't hitting the floor at all. I was getting so frustrated. Here I am working my butt off day in and day out and it's not paying off. Or at least that is what I thought. I kept thinking,"What am I doing that is causing me not to make these sounds?" And I started putting all of the pieces of the puzzle together. I realized I wasn't bending my knees all the time. I start bending them and as I get more tense or tired I straighten them and that kills me. So I reminded myself to bend, pound that ground and smile baby. And the number was great. It really felt like another eureka moment. Some times you just need to sift through the bad to get to the good.
Well Bedtime!
Your so glad she stayed and worked tapper!
15 Working Days Until Opening Night!
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Monday, June 13, 2011
It's Crunch Time Kids!
I know it's been a long time since I have blogged, but every time I sit down to write I don't know what to say. I am at this point of no forward motion, or at least I feel that way. But I guess there some things to fill you in on.
One thing is, we finished the show! Which is an accomplishment in itself. Yes we finished with our choreographed bows on Friday. It's nice to know that we are at that point where we don't have to process any new information. Except for the fact that we have to re-space the entire show onstage, which adds numbers in our heads. And since this is a massive dance show, it's a lot of numbers. This show is such a beast.
We finished Shuffle Off To Buffalo on Thursday and it is the cutest darn thing, and quickly becoming my favorite moment of the show. Since it's not tap dancing and it relies on character, I sink right in to the piece like an old pair of slippers. The thing to really make happen is to get that comfort with the tap dances. I realize that I just need to go for it and hope for the best. Act the you know what out of it. Easier said than done but I am trying my damnedest.
So here we are 2 & 1/2 weeks out and it's crunch time kids. "Go big or go home," as Dawn says. I keep trying to push myself harder and harder but it's just not there yet. I need to stop evaluating myself as I go. I must remember to have fun. But at this point with all the stopping and starting it's hard to get in to a flow. I am trying not to use that as an excuse but is difficult.
Since I am back to work full time with my teaching job, it doesn't leave much time for tapping outside of rehearsal. However, I have decided to tap for 1 hour every day. And I'll tell you what, I keep learning little things that help me become better day by day. Today I realized I need to strengthen my left ankle and get it really loose because when I shuffle I want to use my whole leg right up to my quadriceps and you can't do that. You need to utilize from your knee down. Every time I slip on those tap shoes I learn something. Which may be the coolest thing about this process.
I will say, I have a lot of support from my cast and crew. They are always giving me words of encouragement and telling me how much my hard work has paid off. That's enough to keep you going for a lifetime. That's why I love working in the theater, the family that I have accrued. I feel so lucky in that regard.
As I was riding home tonight, I was listening to the soundtrack of The Book of Mormon (my husband kindly purchased the CD and then put it in my car so I would be surprised when I got out of rehearsal). The music is big and very Broadway and it gave me goosebumps. It reminded me why I love musicals, because the music makes you feel something. It's like your heart immediately connects with it. I want to give that to our audiences. It's time to get wrapped up in the 1930's and in this world. Go after what my character wants and get it at all costs. Throw it all out there on the stage. No more being scared. Just go out there and do what I know how to do.
Wow, that was a good pep talk! I hope I can remember that every night for the rest of the rehearsal process and even performances.
Well I am weary and still have things to do so I must leave you now. Thank you for stopping by.
Goodnight!
Your pep talking, take no prisoners tapper!
17 Working Days Until Opening Night! (Holy Wah!)
One thing is, we finished the show! Which is an accomplishment in itself. Yes we finished with our choreographed bows on Friday. It's nice to know that we are at that point where we don't have to process any new information. Except for the fact that we have to re-space the entire show onstage, which adds numbers in our heads. And since this is a massive dance show, it's a lot of numbers. This show is such a beast.
We finished Shuffle Off To Buffalo on Thursday and it is the cutest darn thing, and quickly becoming my favorite moment of the show. Since it's not tap dancing and it relies on character, I sink right in to the piece like an old pair of slippers. The thing to really make happen is to get that comfort with the tap dances. I realize that I just need to go for it and hope for the best. Act the you know what out of it. Easier said than done but I am trying my damnedest.
So here we are 2 & 1/2 weeks out and it's crunch time kids. "Go big or go home," as Dawn says. I keep trying to push myself harder and harder but it's just not there yet. I need to stop evaluating myself as I go. I must remember to have fun. But at this point with all the stopping and starting it's hard to get in to a flow. I am trying not to use that as an excuse but is difficult.
Since I am back to work full time with my teaching job, it doesn't leave much time for tapping outside of rehearsal. However, I have decided to tap for 1 hour every day. And I'll tell you what, I keep learning little things that help me become better day by day. Today I realized I need to strengthen my left ankle and get it really loose because when I shuffle I want to use my whole leg right up to my quadriceps and you can't do that. You need to utilize from your knee down. Every time I slip on those tap shoes I learn something. Which may be the coolest thing about this process.
I will say, I have a lot of support from my cast and crew. They are always giving me words of encouragement and telling me how much my hard work has paid off. That's enough to keep you going for a lifetime. That's why I love working in the theater, the family that I have accrued. I feel so lucky in that regard.
As I was riding home tonight, I was listening to the soundtrack of The Book of Mormon (my husband kindly purchased the CD and then put it in my car so I would be surprised when I got out of rehearsal). The music is big and very Broadway and it gave me goosebumps. It reminded me why I love musicals, because the music makes you feel something. It's like your heart immediately connects with it. I want to give that to our audiences. It's time to get wrapped up in the 1930's and in this world. Go after what my character wants and get it at all costs. Throw it all out there on the stage. No more being scared. Just go out there and do what I know how to do.
Wow, that was a good pep talk! I hope I can remember that every night for the rest of the rehearsal process and even performances.
Well I am weary and still have things to do so I must leave you now. Thank you for stopping by.
Goodnight!
Your pep talking, take no prisoners tapper!
17 Working Days Until Opening Night! (Holy Wah!)
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Having Fun Is So Much Fun!
I went in early to the studio today and met with some of the other girls from the show. We wanted to review everything before the run through tonight. I was so happy to have people to work with. Some times it gets boring working by yourself. After we went through everything, the other girls left and I stayed just to solidify some things for myself. Then I got to that point where I knew I had to be done. So I packed up and left.
When I got home, I continued to work on other aspects of the show and really try to get everything set in my head. Of course, I felt like I didn't work hard enough, but hey, there are only so many hours in the day.
On my way in to the theater I just kept up my mantra, "just have fun." That's all I can do. If I am not having fun then the audience is not having fun. I turned on "Take On Me" by A-Ha and jammed out in my car and remembered how much fun dancing like a loon with complete abandon can be. I thought to myself, "have that much fun."
When I got in to the rehearsal room everyone was tapping away. I threw on my shoes and started working on some steps. And I found that I was messing up almost everything. I tensed up and got worried. But before we started I reminded myself once again to have fun. Who cares if I mess up just have fun. And that is exactly what I did. I went out there and gave it almost everything I have. I certainly messed up my fair share of steps but I didn't care. I noted the mistakes and moved on (I'll clean them in the studio tomorrow). And after it was all said and done I had that great feeling that actor's crave, I didn't even realize what had happened. I was so in it I couldn't remember it. Now that's what I call fun.
There are still many things to work on but today has been stamped as a success and provided just the motivation I was looking for.
Well it's time for bed! Nighty Night,
Your carefree, fun-loving, 100% committed tapper.
22 Working Days Until Opening Night!
When I got home, I continued to work on other aspects of the show and really try to get everything set in my head. Of course, I felt like I didn't work hard enough, but hey, there are only so many hours in the day.
On my way in to the theater I just kept up my mantra, "just have fun." That's all I can do. If I am not having fun then the audience is not having fun. I turned on "Take On Me" by A-Ha and jammed out in my car and remembered how much fun dancing like a loon with complete abandon can be. I thought to myself, "have that much fun."
When I got in to the rehearsal room everyone was tapping away. I threw on my shoes and started working on some steps. And I found that I was messing up almost everything. I tensed up and got worried. But before we started I reminded myself once again to have fun. Who cares if I mess up just have fun. And that is exactly what I did. I went out there and gave it almost everything I have. I certainly messed up my fair share of steps but I didn't care. I noted the mistakes and moved on (I'll clean them in the studio tomorrow). And after it was all said and done I had that great feeling that actor's crave, I didn't even realize what had happened. I was so in it I couldn't remember it. Now that's what I call fun.
There are still many things to work on but today has been stamped as a success and provided just the motivation I was looking for.
Well it's time for bed! Nighty Night,
Your carefree, fun-loving, 100% committed tapper.
22 Working Days Until Opening Night!
You Gotta Fake It Til You Make It & It's Time To Make It!
I don't even know what to write about any more. Which is pretty much how I feel about the show. I feel like I have been working so hard and I have plateaued in every way. I need a jolt, something to energize me through the next couple of weeks.
I did work yesterday in the studio for an hour and a half and it was good work. Other than thinking in to the ground which is a constant issue with me, I discovered a few other things. I noticed I constantly lift my hips and that prevents me from striking the ground. This tightness not only comes from concentration and tension but also, I am not always breathing. That can't be good. I also realized that on my left foot I am pointing when I shuffle out which makes it hard to get it back in quickly. This is going to be a hard habit to break. But I did start to feel the certain bounciness that tap requires. It is all about weight distribution which I have said before, but it cannot be taught it has to be discovered.
I have to admit it was not easy going back to rehearsal tonight after 4 days off. I felt like I should have spent all that time working on the show but I was just unable to. One, because I went away for 2 days, two, because I have other work to do for my job and three, I don't even know what to work on anymore. I am singing and dancing non stop, drilling everything in to my head. And at this point nothing seems to be getting any better. Although I did enjoy learning the opening choreography to Shuffle Off To Buffalo. It was in my comfort zone. It made me feel competent.
And then on my way home tonight it hit me. I have forgotten the fun. Why do we do this? Certainly not to make money and certainly not to further our careers. We do it for the fun. Every time I get a role in a show I complicate it and make it so hard on myself to get everything absolutely perfect, when what I need to be doing is letting loose, trying new things and having fun. Most times I just let the uptight part of my personality get the best of me.
So from now on, forget perfect. I am going for fun. I am hoping that will infuse energy in to this listless hoofer.
Tomorrow is our Design Run where we will run almost the whole show (what we have up to this point). It's an exciting night because there are new eyes and new reactions. I hope all my hard work shows through. And if not, I am going to have fun anyway.
Goodnight!
Your,
Fun loving, not perfect tappa, tappa, tapper!
23 Working Days Until Opening Night! (Yowzaa)
I did work yesterday in the studio for an hour and a half and it was good work. Other than thinking in to the ground which is a constant issue with me, I discovered a few other things. I noticed I constantly lift my hips and that prevents me from striking the ground. This tightness not only comes from concentration and tension but also, I am not always breathing. That can't be good. I also realized that on my left foot I am pointing when I shuffle out which makes it hard to get it back in quickly. This is going to be a hard habit to break. But I did start to feel the certain bounciness that tap requires. It is all about weight distribution which I have said before, but it cannot be taught it has to be discovered.
I have to admit it was not easy going back to rehearsal tonight after 4 days off. I felt like I should have spent all that time working on the show but I was just unable to. One, because I went away for 2 days, two, because I have other work to do for my job and three, I don't even know what to work on anymore. I am singing and dancing non stop, drilling everything in to my head. And at this point nothing seems to be getting any better. Although I did enjoy learning the opening choreography to Shuffle Off To Buffalo. It was in my comfort zone. It made me feel competent.
And then on my way home tonight it hit me. I have forgotten the fun. Why do we do this? Certainly not to make money and certainly not to further our careers. We do it for the fun. Every time I get a role in a show I complicate it and make it so hard on myself to get everything absolutely perfect, when what I need to be doing is letting loose, trying new things and having fun. Most times I just let the uptight part of my personality get the best of me.
So from now on, forget perfect. I am going for fun. I am hoping that will infuse energy in to this listless hoofer.
Tomorrow is our Design Run where we will run almost the whole show (what we have up to this point). It's an exciting night because there are new eyes and new reactions. I hope all my hard work shows through. And if not, I am going to have fun anyway.
Goodnight!
Your,
Fun loving, not perfect tappa, tappa, tapper!
23 Working Days Until Opening Night! (Yowzaa)
Friday, June 3, 2011
Smile, Baby!
I am writing to you while I am on my way to Orlando for a getaway weekend. You may be asking yourself, "Why aren't you at rehearsal Jessica?" Well that is because I have the night off. And it couldn't come at a better time because I need to step away from the tap shoes.
Last night we ran all of Act I for the first time. I tried not to think too much and really stay in the moment and I have to say that it worked. I really felt the culmination of all of my hard work. I knew I had to work really hard in the beginning in order to start feeling comfortable now.
It didn't hurt that my husband was present for the run. So as usual I asked him what he thought and he said your dancing is great but you need to smile. In this whole process I have concentrated so much on the steps that I forgot to smile.
So with that I went in to the studio to work today. I really wanted to work on Go In To Your Dance. But as I started working I just had no motivation. I realized I was tired and needed a break from the whole thing. So this weekend couldn't come at a better time. It's like Julian Marsh says in the show, "You've earned it, go out and have a good time, forget about the show." And for the next 2 days that is exactly what I am going to do. My hope is that I come back refreshed and ready to work.
Have a great weekend!
Your taking time off tapper.
26 Working Days Until Opening Night!
Last night we ran all of Act I for the first time. I tried not to think too much and really stay in the moment and I have to say that it worked. I really felt the culmination of all of my hard work. I knew I had to work really hard in the beginning in order to start feeling comfortable now.
It didn't hurt that my husband was present for the run. So as usual I asked him what he thought and he said your dancing is great but you need to smile. In this whole process I have concentrated so much on the steps that I forgot to smile.
So with that I went in to the studio to work today. I really wanted to work on Go In To Your Dance. But as I started working I just had no motivation. I realized I was tired and needed a break from the whole thing. So this weekend couldn't come at a better time. It's like Julian Marsh says in the show, "You've earned it, go out and have a good time, forget about the show." And for the next 2 days that is exactly what I am going to do. My hope is that I come back refreshed and ready to work.
Have a great weekend!
Your taking time off tapper.
26 Working Days Until Opening Night!
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
I Am A Competent Tapper!
Now some of you might be saying, "DUH!" But for the first time today I believed it and felt it. I spent 2 and 1/2 sweaty hours in the studio today. I am actually off from rehearsal tonight so I decided to go in early so I can spend the evening with my wonderful husband. I started to work on Go In To Your Dance and that darned military time step. Still heavy, I went to youtube to check out the pros and I saw this lightness about them. I tried to mimic it and voila, I was getting better. It's definitely a work in progress.
I attempted pullbacks for just a bit but I just cannot get my right foot to make the 2 sounds that I need it to make. The left is great but the right just goes up and down. I NEED HELP!
I worked on We're In The Money. The great thing about this dance is that nothing is particularly hard but you do have to practice it and know the sequence very well. I started slow and then got faster and faster. It was a great review.
I did the Opening Number once and I found a few things to work on. I worked on them and did it again with a sense of abandon and relaxation. It was much better. But still hard to get through with a smile on your face. Can anyone say CARDIO?
All in all I feel really good about today. Every day that I work I find out something more about where my weight should be. That is the most difficult thing. Trying to think up and down at the same time. Trying to be light on your feet but slam that ground. It's not something one can learn in a day, a week or even a month. But I am getting there and that makes me feel so accomplished.
I wanted to work a little bit longer but I was getting tired and was unable to do even simple moves. So I knew it was time to pack it in for the day because I didn't want to get frustrated with myself. It's all about balance (new mantra).
I am excited about my progress and looking forward to learning the final part of Go In To Your Dance tomorrow.
Well it's time to make some homemade pizza.
Love,
Your finally starting to believe in herself tapper.
30 Working Days Until Opening Night!
I attempted pullbacks for just a bit but I just cannot get my right foot to make the 2 sounds that I need it to make. The left is great but the right just goes up and down. I NEED HELP!
I worked on We're In The Money. The great thing about this dance is that nothing is particularly hard but you do have to practice it and know the sequence very well. I started slow and then got faster and faster. It was a great review.
I did the Opening Number once and I found a few things to work on. I worked on them and did it again with a sense of abandon and relaxation. It was much better. But still hard to get through with a smile on your face. Can anyone say CARDIO?
All in all I feel really good about today. Every day that I work I find out something more about where my weight should be. That is the most difficult thing. Trying to think up and down at the same time. Trying to be light on your feet but slam that ground. It's not something one can learn in a day, a week or even a month. But I am getting there and that makes me feel so accomplished.
I wanted to work a little bit longer but I was getting tired and was unable to do even simple moves. So I knew it was time to pack it in for the day because I didn't want to get frustrated with myself. It's all about balance (new mantra).
I am excited about my progress and looking forward to learning the final part of Go In To Your Dance tomorrow.
Well it's time to make some homemade pizza.
Love,
Your finally starting to believe in herself tapper.
30 Working Days Until Opening Night!
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Pound That Ground!
Worked for an hour today. It's very hard to go in to the studio and decide what to work on. I want to work on everything but I have to have a focus. I equate it to going to the gym. I like to go with a game plan so I can get in and out and feel like I have accomplished something. So I started working right away on the military time step. I was trying to incorporate tips from Dawn and every one else who has been helping me but I was getting frustrated because I still feel like my body is out of control and it feels impossible to get all the sounds. I attempted to work on pullbacks but I don't want to hurt my pinched nerve too much. After that I just decided to do all of Go Into Your Dance for a review. It wasn't great, but it was ok.
Then I moved on in to We're In The Money which has a couple moves that really confuse my entire body. One is the New Yorker, Flap-Heel-Heel-Brush-Heel-Toe-Heel. My feet just go in their own rhythm and do not take any direction from my brain. I go over it slow with just the feet and I master it. Then I add the arms and (insert loser sound from Price is Right) my body just breaks down. So I worked on it slow and then a little fast and it came and went. I took whatever success came from it and moved on.
Then I decided that I was going to work on the Opening Number and really try to serve up the acting. The first attempt was just that, an attempt. My mind gets so wrapped up in the moves that I forget to act at all. I stopped half way through, took a breather and decided to start again not worrying about the moves but trying to act, loosen up and think in to the ground. It was better. Not where I would like it to be, but better. So I have decided that today is Day 1 of doing the Opening Number every day. Each day I will work on my acting in the number, not my feet. This is what I am good at and what truly makes me feel alive on stage. All this thinking and worrying is really draining my energy and leaving my devoid of any life at all. So not cool.
For the last 10 minutes in the studio I decided to work on Go In To Your Dance and my solo in that. I threw my brain out the window and thought, pound the ground. Just think ground. Hit that ground. Take all your frustration and put it in to that ground. Everyone has been telling me that I am thinking too up and I need to think down but you can not imagine what a hard concept this is to get in to your body. Well with this new focus I have to say I started feeling where my body weight is supposed to be. It started clicking all over. It was just for a blip of time but that will keep me motivated throughout this process. I will cling to any success possible.
The good news is I have learned all the tap that I will be doing in the show. I only have one number left to learn and it does not involve tap. That is comforting because there will be no more surprises. I know what I need to work on and I have the time to do it.
Well it's time to go out and party it up a little bit. Goodnight!
Love,
Your pounding the ground tapper.
33 Working Days Until Opening Night!
Then I moved on in to We're In The Money which has a couple moves that really confuse my entire body. One is the New Yorker, Flap-Heel-Heel-Brush-Heel-Toe-Heel. My feet just go in their own rhythm and do not take any direction from my brain. I go over it slow with just the feet and I master it. Then I add the arms and (insert loser sound from Price is Right) my body just breaks down. So I worked on it slow and then a little fast and it came and went. I took whatever success came from it and moved on.
Then I decided that I was going to work on the Opening Number and really try to serve up the acting. The first attempt was just that, an attempt. My mind gets so wrapped up in the moves that I forget to act at all. I stopped half way through, took a breather and decided to start again not worrying about the moves but trying to act, loosen up and think in to the ground. It was better. Not where I would like it to be, but better. So I have decided that today is Day 1 of doing the Opening Number every day. Each day I will work on my acting in the number, not my feet. This is what I am good at and what truly makes me feel alive on stage. All this thinking and worrying is really draining my energy and leaving my devoid of any life at all. So not cool.
For the last 10 minutes in the studio I decided to work on Go In To Your Dance and my solo in that. I threw my brain out the window and thought, pound the ground. Just think ground. Hit that ground. Take all your frustration and put it in to that ground. Everyone has been telling me that I am thinking too up and I need to think down but you can not imagine what a hard concept this is to get in to your body. Well with this new focus I have to say I started feeling where my body weight is supposed to be. It started clicking all over. It was just for a blip of time but that will keep me motivated throughout this process. I will cling to any success possible.
The good news is I have learned all the tap that I will be doing in the show. I only have one number left to learn and it does not involve tap. That is comforting because there will be no more surprises. I know what I need to work on and I have the time to do it.
Well it's time to go out and party it up a little bit. Goodnight!
Love,
Your pounding the ground tapper.
33 Working Days Until Opening Night!
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