Role Reversal = Realization

Today was the teen auditions for 42nd Street. For those of you who are not familiar with The Naples Players, we have an excellent KidzAct program and some times in the summer the teens do the same show as the adults. It's a great idea because the kids get a fully realized show and since the creative team (which consists of almost all the same people as the adult cast) don't have to worry about working on a completely different show, everyone is able to focus on the work and getting these kids to really work hard and serve it.

So I was teaching the audition choreography to the teens today. I thought it was funny that I was teaching tap but since I am familiar with all the steps and the entire process I guess it made sense. I felt a responsibility to these kids to give them as much information and advice as I could. Coming from someone who is still in the process of learning I thought it was good to explain to them that this is hard and it takes time. I actually found myself saying these words. These words that everyone has been saying to me. I really started to take it in today and believe it.

Throughout the process I found myself getting extremely comfortable and serving up some serious face. I was doing exactly what I was told to do when I auditioned and in rehearsal, which is to relax and trust that it will come. But it wasn't until I was in the position of teacher, did I get it. It's funny how that works out. I do the same thing with acting. If I am teaching an acting class or directing a show everything is crystal clear and I give great advice. But as soon as I get a role I make everything so complicated. It's odd how we just fall in to these roles.

So as the teens were auditioning I was watching like a hawk and seeing tense, straight legs, very tight ankles, no breathing and extreme thinking. All the things that I have been doing and still do today. But by seeing this I was able to see how much I had progressed from the adult workshop that I took just a little over a month ago. It was so hard to see and feel that progress until now. I was there, tightness and all and I have really improved in such a quick time. Some times hearing the words from others isn't as helpful as seeing and feeling it for yourself. But I thank everyone for their words because it all adds up in the end. I wouldn't have come to this realization today without those words, and for that I cannot thank you enough (you know who you are).

And as I was driving home with my husband today I was talking about the auditions and I said something that really helped me put things in to perspective. I said that it's a process, just like my singing and just like my acting. It takes time and it may not be perfect but it will be the best it can be at that moment. And I am ok with that. I don't need it to be perfect. A great teacher once said to me,"Artists are always in process." How true that is. I will always be in process of becoming a better tapper and what will be will be on Opening Night. But what I know I can do is serve up a great character with a side of brassy singing. And the tap is getting there.

I so needed this day. I feel amazing. It's been a good couple of days of amazing realizations. It has given me so much hope for the future. I can't wait to keep working on this show.

Yours truly,

The tired and extremely grateful tapper.

47 Days Until Opening Night!